“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.’ ” Mark 9:35 (NIV)
“They replied, ‘Let one of us sit at your right hand and the other at your left in your glory.’ ” Mark 10:37 (NIV) James and John speaking.
“If anyone wants to be first”? Don’t we all want to be first? Even James and John just a short time after Jesus says this, ask to be first in His kingdom. Forget all the other disciples, they want first place. Jesus had just told them He must suffer and die yet they did not get it. They were thinking of themselves. I am right there with James and John. I want to be first. I want to be “special”. I want people to like me the best and want to be with me. But Jesus says, choose to be last, choose to be the servant of everyone else. Do I trust Him enough to do that? That is the question. Do I trust Him to meet all my needs, even my need to be special, to be noticed, to be wanted? Am I willing to go unnoticed here? Am I willing to leave it to God to take care of the innermost yearnings of my heart in His time and in His way? I wish I could say that I am at the place where I am willing to be the servant of all. I am trusting God to help me grow to be that kind of person.
Father, I confess it is hard for me to choose to be the very last. My flesh wants to be noticed, to be special, to be the one served. Help me see beyond this world. Help me know that you are the only one who makes me special. I want to yield all of my heart to you. I want to be willing to be the servant of all. That is what you chose. Help me to be more like you. Help me to trust you with all my needs.